I'll Meet You There

I'll Meet You There

It's a game of hide and seek,

Too afraid to take the peek.

I wander, I'm aimless,

A mother who's nameless.

I look for you in the birds,

In songs' lonely words.

There's a mess in the living room,

In response to my barren womb.

There's a hole through my heart,

From where the doctors tore me apart.

There's a scar you can't see,

A memorial under a tree.

Ashes on a chain,

That bears all my pain.

Two names we never speak,

Tears we often have to sneak.

I laugh so often with guilt,

My world seemingly always at a tilt.

I ready your room with others' clothes

Longingly whispering secret oaths.

Knowing your death was also your birth,

I calculate my motherly worth.

Here with the ones that got to stay

Yet somehow always feeling halfway.

I search for you in the stars,

Guessing which ones you are.

It's not so often I wonder where,

But more so that I'll meet you there.

Katie Lilljedahl | 2023